The True Hero of the Story: The Bravery, Love and Sacrifice of a Birth Parent 

We are all familiar with the idea of sacrifice.

 

I am certain most of us feel we’ve made many of them, and we have. We sacrifice relaxing and fun to get the project done. We sacrifice our desire to buy new things to save money. Sacrifice comes in so many forms and exists on so many levels. Our first responders sacrifice their safety for that of the community. Our armed forces sacrifice to protect our country.

 

Sacrifice can give us a deep sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. Usually, the drive for sacrifice comes from a deep sense of duty, integrity, and honor but the origin of all of these is always love.

 

Most birth parent(s) that find themselves facing the adoption decision did not plan to be in that position. It’s typically not something one dreams or aspires to; however, it is always sacrifice. Most often, it is a dilemma accompanied by a tremendous choice. Can you imagine? Deciding the fate of a child that shares your DNA, that is quite literally a part of you, is a weight that most of us cannot imagine.

 

 

When we were blessed with our incredible son, we had received a last-minute call. If we were interested in this adoption, we needed to travel and be at the hospital the very next day. We knew so little, but we knew we were in. We were willing to accept whatever challenges came with this child. This is it’s own form of sacrifice, but it also would come with the great joy of committing oneself to another life, of creating union, protection, and a family. This is a sacrifice with unmeasurable and great reward.

 

The birth parent wanted a closed adoption. They did not want to meet us or even meet this beautiful child they brought into the world. The pain was too great, unbearable I could only imagine. Regardless, they were certain. They wanted what was best for this baby and they would not change their mind. This little soul that was literally a part of them, something they could have held onto in their uncertain world, but they decided based on what was best for him. All this, knowing they would very likely never see him again. THIS IS SACRIFICE. THIS IS BRAVERY. THIS IS LOVE.

 

When we think about adoption, it is so important that we see our birth parent(s) through a lens of compassion, empathy, and grace. They are the real heroes in the story of adoption.