One of the wonders of adoption occurs when strangers become family. It starts with adoptive parents who are ready to meet and love a child where they are and join them in their world. Once matched with a child, we encourage parents to establish a healthy plan for bonding and attachment. This is one of the most precious times in the adoption process, so look forward to getting to know your child and forming a relationship with them!
When we think of attachment remember it comes to life through daily, consistent connection.
A daily time of bonding is vital to establish a secure and close relationship with your child. Think of a time every day that can be blocked off for this special time together. Choose a time that can be maintained once life gets back to normal and the family returns to regular routines. For me, it was just before afternoon naptime – I would read books with my daughter, and it was the best thing to start and cement a close parent/child relationship.
Consistency is key – showing up at the same time, every day to give your child your full attention communicates “this time is
important to my parent; therefore, I am important to my parent.” Consistency in the same activity, the same amount of time, in the same location, if possible, creates stability your child can count on. For my daughter and I, this included reading the same books over and over! We learned all the words and laughed at the same parts. She started joining in and finished sentences before I read them aloud. For children who have been through uncertainty, a certain, consistent time of bonding creates room to hope and believe in the lasting love they’ve been hoping for in a family.
Bonding Time in Africa, Sharon came home on June 18th, 2014
Connection is the goal, so put phones and distractions away. Rock and sing to your baby, making that precious eye contact and letting them hear your voice. The bonds my daughter and I made over books continues today, ten years later. If your children are older, join in an activity they are already interested in, letting them know you care about what they care about, and you are there to invest in their interests and support their dreams -whether that’s connecting on the basketball court or at the art table. Forming a lifelong bond starts with daily, consistent, connection. Start this daily rhythm and though it changes through the stages, keep it going as they grow for a lifelong relationship with your children.
Sharon Volunteering – 2023 Blue Jeans & Pearls Gala
We hope this blog on bonding and attachment equips you in your adoption journey. Anytime your family needs support, please reach out to our team, we have expert staff ready to assist you. If you haven’t brought a child home through adoption yet, we hope this blog helps you envision the beautiful season of bonding that awaits you through becoming an adoptive parent. We invite you to take the first step and fill out a pre-application today. There are so many children waiting for the love and stability of a forever family. We look forward to walking with you every step of the joyful journey of adoption.